In my years of dealing with several mental health disorders, I have come to learn what is at the true essence of real healing. As some of you may know, I went through my share of treatments from basic natural remedies and techniques to the more invasive medications and even electro shock therapy. But stepping away from the treatments themselves, the mentality you go into them with is what is most important. How you view what you’re dealing with is half the battle and will most certainly affect the outcome of whatever treatments you undergo.
For years I viewed myself as powerless, as needing fixing, and as straight up misunderstood by the entire world. I had it in my head that a medication would, eventually, just bring it to an end and I would be “normal.” Well, this perception of reality was completely inaccurate, and brought suffering for years, until I woke up to true reality. I had so much more power than I realized; I was and am responsible for my health, there is nothing about me that has to be fixed, and the world’s understanding does not matter. What ultimately matters is my self-acceptance, of which I had none, and would be in the negative on that scale if possible.
I didn’t awaken to this until this last year, when I finally found the underlying cause of a lot of my mental distress. It was greatly caused by a physical issue. I had a blockage in my neck, which did not provide adequate blood flow to my brain. But I came to realize is it is so much more than just that. How I looked at myself, my past, is crucial to my well-being. I still carried with me so much of this loss of identity and belonging, which compounded over years and years of in and out of functioning and bouncing from treatment to treatment. I truly didn’t know who I was, at all. I was completely disconnected with the core of who I am as a person, and now I believe this to be the foundation of a cure. This applies to not only mental health diagnoses but with everything in life, regardless of what health struggles you may be facing.
You need to have the belief in yourself, that you, amongst all else, know what is best for you. When you give up that power and subject yourself to others opinions as more valuable and true than your own, you’re setting yourself up for failure. There will be limitations to any kind of recovery if there isn’t that “inner strength” in you. It’s there, for everyone, but needs to be accessed and recognized.
It’s amazing how much of my anxiety stemmed from this concept alone and it was lifted when I came to this “aha” moment that I had it within me this whole time to ease my suffering. Its not to say these ‘”disorders” wouldn’t have developed altogether, but my approach toward them, the amount of heaviness that came with them, would definitely have been lightened.
Energy in is energy out. That puts it simply for me and really is true. Whatever you put into something, you will get out. I have noticed these simple little practices of checking in with myself, coupled with meditating or just simply slowing down and showing myself some compassion, has made the world of a difference.